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The Hidden Almanac for
Friday February 13th, 2015
Episode 223
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2015-02-11
Next episode: 2015-02-16

SummaryEdit

It is Friday the 13th, and you know what that means. If not, we will explain it. It is also the birthday of Anthony Campbell. It is the Feast Day of St. Glaber, and in the garden, there is turmoil.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 13th, 2015.

It is a day of ill-luck and ill-omen, unless you are one of those perverse souls who enjoy pretending that your luck is at odds with the rest of the world. Some small number of you are correct, but the rest will be advised to take precautions. This is not a good day to follow too closely behind logging trucks or to get into any competitions involving propane.

It is the birthday, in 1941, of Anthony Campbell, the almost notorious serial killer. He took up birdwatching as an excellent pretext for getting people alone in the woods, but rapidly discovered that birdwatching was a great passion of his and eventually began to pass up opportunities to murder people in favor of spotting bramblings and three-toed tree-creepers. When he was finally arrested after beating someone to death with a spotting scope, the birding community was split. “We do not approve of Anthony’s aims when he joined the Royal Birding Society,” said one, “but at the same time, he was an excellent man for identifying small shorebirds. And in fairness, his victim did get between him and a life bird.” Campbell was charged with aggravated assault and was not allowed to go on birding trips with less than four individuals.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Glaber, patron of the naked mole-rat and the less well known dune mole-rat. It is said that this saint was fed in the desert by mole-rats who brought him tubers which sustained him as he meditated. He unfortunately suffered severe heat stroke and several untreated mole-rat bites, and so eventually was picked up by nomads who saved his life. His later books, which mostly hinged around a goddess served by naked, wiggling, buck-toothed priests, were dismissed as the products on an unhinged mind.

In the garden, the van is axle-deep in the mud, the protesters have brought out signs, and I am trying to get the pepperweed rooted out before it spreads everywhere. This is a job for interns, but most of them have gone home, except for Mary, who makes the coffee and takes care of George. George is not pleased by any of this and has taken to trying to summon Corvus-Wrax again. I cannot quite approve of feeding a garden full of protesters and energy company employees to a giant avian god of darkness, but I am still sympathetic.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Suzy’s Seasonal Assassins. Lupercalia is approaching, when love is in the air. Has your ex-spouse found love before you? We can take care of that, for the right price. Leave a note under a glass at the Silent Nightclub. We’ll be in touch.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 13th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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