The Hidden Almanac for
Monday February 16th, 2015
Episode 224
Previous episode: 2015-02-13
Next episode: 2015-02-18


Today, A stone went missing someplace other than Echo Harbor. It is also the day “Eleven Chimps and a Nun” reappeared. It is the Feast Day of St. Bron, and in the garden, there is cold.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 16th, 2015.

It was on this day, 301 years ago, that preparations for the grand reopening of the Kingfisher Bridge were briefly delayed when the keystone for the arch over the High Street went missing. “A two-ton keystone can’t just wander off!” said the foreman on the project. “This is not a thing that happens! Maybe in Echo Harbor, but not here!” The stone was eventually found, some hours later, at a local pub. “It kept buying drinks,” reported the bartender. “It’s not my place to stop a piece of granite from drinking.” The keystone was removed from the pub and replaced on the arch, where it stands to this day. The local tradition of “Buying the Stone a Drink” is believed to date to this occurrence.

And it was on this day in 1981 that the painting “Eleven Chimps and a Nun” surfaced briefly as evidence in a murder trial. The murderer claimed that the nun had made him do it. “Always judging behind the paint,” he said at his trial. “There was no point. She knew I was going to do it. I had to get it over with. I couldn’t take the waiting.” He stabbed eleven people and had turned the knife on himself, screaming “I am the nun!” before being stopped by police. The painting was impounded as evidence and vanished from the storage locker under unknown circumstances.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Bron, patron of somber reflection. This day follows the excesses of Lupercalia, when such reflection is perhaps justified. Bron is represented as a stern faced man with his arms folded, on a background of embarrassed wolves.

In the garden, temperatures have plummeted. The ground is frozen, so the van is not going anywhere, and the windchill is extraordinary so the protesters are not going anywhere. I have barricaded myself in the recording booth with George. George is perching on a bust over the door, although it is a bust of the Shepherd Pope, not of Pallas, as might be poetic.

On the bright side, Mary the intern informs me that the witch hazel bloomed. I had despaired of that particular witch hazel, so this is a small miracle in a day that promises to be full of large unpleasantnesses.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Mantis Lounge. Trying to stay warm? Come by the Mantis Lounge, the hottest nightspot with the coolest dancers. Saturday night is the night when the staff selects the most delicious of the unattached males for…special attentions. It will not hurt. We promise.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 16th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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