The Hidden Almanac for
Friday February 27th, 2015
Episode 229
Previous episode: 2015-02-25
Next episode: 2015-03-02


Today we remember a coup attempt against the Librarian Prince. It also marks the historic meeting of the sloth-people with the mole-people. It is the Feast Day of the Cardinal Saint, and in the garden, there is more snow.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 27th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1782 that that a coup was attempted against the Librarian Prince. The palace pages, infuriated by poor conditions and the suffering of their families, attacked him in the royal bathroom with knives. History would laud their courage, but condemn their choice of location. Slippery tiles made it difficult for the pages to connect with their assaults. Though stabbed five times, the Prince lived. The pages were captured, except for one who dove out the bathroom window and escaped despite a broken arm. It is speculated that this particular page would eventually go on to make contact with the assassin Gray Hemlock, who would finally end the Librarian Prince’s reign of terror. The prince himself, irate, issued a decree preventing daggers in the bathroom. This was not considered a Hateful Decree, but seemed to make a lot of sense.

And it was on this day, in 1897, that an envoy of the sloth-people traveled to meet the mole-people underground. It was a historic day for peace between two already peaceful peoples. When human diplomats protested that they had not been invited, the mole-people sent back a lengthy poem, the gist of which translated to “Not everything is about you.” The sloth people have either declined to comment or are still working very slowly on their reply.

It is the Feast Day of the Cardinal Saint, patron of cartographers and mapmakers. Originally listed as the “saint of the cardinal directions” this obscure folk saint was later confused with the bird known as the cardinal, and is now represented as a cardinal-headed man holding a map. He grew enormously in popularity after that, possibly because of what an attractive greeting card this icon made. He remains popular despite a significant lack of historical backup.

In the garden, we had a heavy wet snow, and the pines and red cedars have all bent down under the weight. This has brought a pine down, blocking the driveway. We will have to get the interns out with chainsaws, although after the incident last time, I am wary. At the moment, it is not a bad thing that traffic in and out is difficult, although I am running low on coffee and George may soon be out of Cheetos.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by John’s Hand-Powered Chainsaws! Sure, the crank takes awhile, but you never need to worry about running out of gas! John’s—wherever the best tools are sold.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 27th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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