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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday March 2nd, 2015
Episode 230
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2015-02-27
Next episode: 2015-03-04

SummaryEdit

It is March. You have been warned. Today is the birthday of writer Judith Potemkin. It is also the day of a royal wedding. It is the Feast Day of St. Simone, and in the garden, there is a distinct lack of coffee.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is March 2nd, 2015.

It is March. I am as displeased as you are.

It is the birthday in 1911 of the beloved children’s book author Judith Potemkin, which was a pen name for one Judy Maurice. Ms. Maurice had specialized in low-budget erotica for pulp magazines and then one day found herself drafted into writing a children’s book for the child of a friend. It became an instant classic and she rebranded herself and produced the famous “Mittens” series. Over the course of the series, Mittens the penguin went to school, to the zoo, to the moon, to Troyzantium, to the doctor’s office, and to the center of the earth. Ms. Maurice said in interviews that the erotica had been much easier to write, but the children’s books paid a lot better, and at least now her fans weren’t ashamed to talk to her in public.

And it was on this day in 1944 that a great cake was made for a royal wedding. The cake was nearly two stories high, a miracle in buttercream and fondant. Each successive layer was covered in fondant bas-reliefs depicting the history of the world, while notable figures from history were arranged in front. The royal couple stood atop the very highest layer, surrounded by angels, an honor guard in frosting armor, and for some reason, chocolate porcupines. The cake became a greater celebrity than the two royals being married and was featured in all the newspapers of the day. It was the subject of a documentary titled “Frosted Glory” and the chief architect retired on the money she made from the project.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Simone of Gaffing, patron of the town of Gaffing and protector of the monastery there. The story goes that when barbarians invaded, she presented them with an itemized bill for damages. They refused, and she presented it again, on the point of a sword. The barbarians were driven off, and she is represented as a woman draped in long spools of paper, marked with numbers. She is carrying a sword and standing atop a dead barbarian with coins falling from his mouth.

In the garden, ice has coated everything and I am out of coffee. I don’t want to talk about it.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by St. Offren’s Grounds. They make coffee. I do not have coffee. The universe is a cold, flawed place.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for March 2nd, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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