The Hidden Almanac for
Monday March 23rd, 2015
Episode 239
Previous episode: 2015-03-20
Next episode: 2015-03-25


Today marks the day botanists classified the wild chiltepin plant. It also marks the grand opening of The World of Dough. it is the Feast Day of the Stonemason, and in the garden, there are bulbs.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble,


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is March 23rd, 2015.

It was on this day in 1801 that the wild chiltepin plant was first classified by botanists. Long known among local peoples for its spicy fruits, the chiltepin is the ancestor of the domesticated chile. Its tiny, pea-sized peppers are ruthlessly hot and are used as a condiment, and occasionally as a deterrent. It requires extremely hot weather and a longer growing season than most gardeners can manage, so it is rare in cultivation, though efforts to domesticate this ancient plant are underway.

And it was on this day in 1972 that the World Of Dough amusement park opened out the outskirts of the city. Billed as a “cookie-filled wonderland” it featured edible gingerbread houses and a raw dough pit for playing in. “The best part of baking is the raw dough!” said a spokesman. “We aim to make that experience larger than life!” Thousands flocked to the World of Dough, and hundreds were hospitalized with salmonella. When local doctors were asked whether the raw dough pit might be unsanitary, they stared at the camera, lips pursed, shaking their heads in silent horror. World of Dough closed three weeks later.

It is the Feast Day of the Stonemason. A single word from him will bring all statues of metal and stone to life. This would be very disruptive.

In the garden, it is a good time to plant summer bulbs…at least, if you are located within fifty miles or so of the Hidden Almanac Test Garden. If you are elsewhere, it may be a terrible time to plant bulbs. One cannot really generalize about these things. Peacock orchids, (which are neither orchids, nor peacocks) do well when planted in full sun after the frost has passed. I have set the interns to planting them. George is supervising. He finds the papery bulbs interesting, but inedible. However, he is not above stealing them and trading them back for Cheetos. George is an extremely intelligent crow.

It would be a very bad time to direct seed squash, but if you are determined to try, it is not anyone’s place to stop you. Seeds are perhaps the least expensive form of gambling.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Garlic Scouts of Troyzantium. The cookies are here. If you did not pre-order, the cage matches for the remaining boxes will be held behind the Scout Lodge at midnight on Wednesday. Winner gets Garlic Crunchies!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for March 23rd, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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