The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday May 13th, 2015
Episode 255
Previous episode: 2015-05-11
Next episode: 2015-05-15


Today Eland the Younger described yet another creature. It is also the anniversary of the publication of an important book. It is the Feast Day of The Roach God, and in the garden, there is honeysuckle.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is May 13th, 2015.

It was on this day that the naturalist Eland the Younger first described the Glacier Iceworm. These tiny worm resemble a small black squiggle, finer than a piece of thread, and feed upon algae that grows on the surface of the glacier. It is inspiring to think that in such an inhospitable place as a solid sheet of ice, life may yet endure. It is troubling to think that such life is a worm.

And it is the anniversary, in [1976]], of the publication of the Hyatt Guide to Birds of the Continent, the most popular and most enduring bird guide in history. Hyatt was a young artist who dedicated his life to painting images of birds to aid in identification. The Guide was a labor of love, nearly thirty years in the making. Though Hyatt passed away in 2004, updated version of the guides are still produced, making note of unfortunate extinctions, range expansions, and vagrant species spotted on the continent. The most recent version, produced last year, includes eleven new listings, as well as an ID guide for those rare monstrosities created by rogue flesh sculptors and given brief, unholy life. Such rarities may not be added to official life lists, and are often confusing to the novice birdwatcher.

It is the Feast Day of the Roach God. Do not celebrate this feast day. Lock your cupboards tightly to prevent others from celebrating it. The Roach God is represented as a roach-headed man, crowned with the moon, because the iconographer Lawrence of Willet did not wish to offend the Roach God’s servants when they came to his studio one night. This icon is not included in official hagiographies and may be considered one of the feast days that exist solely to appease the less benevolent deities.

In the garden, the catmint has bloomed, alongside the mouse-ear coreopsis. This striking combination of purple and gold is glorious beyond all reason. In theory, the plants should bloom together every year, and yet somehow they often fail to do so. The gardener may plan, but the gods will dispose of things as they will, and the saints are only occasionally able to intercede.

Also, the honeysuckle is blooming, despite our best efforts.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by St. Offren’s Grounds. Try our new travel mug today! There is absolutely nothing offensive about it. We asked three focus groups and the internet.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for May 13th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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