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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday May 25th, 2015
Episode 260
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2015-05-22
Next episode: 2015-05-27

SummaryEdit

Today we recall another momentous occasion in fishing. It is the Feast Day of St. Grindall, and in the garden, there are roses, and the irises still need work.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is May 25th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1906[1] that Thaddeus Mackelwhite landed a seventy-five pound steelhead while fishing on a tributary of the Echo River. Based on the fish’s expression, he believed it to be one he had caught seven years earlier. The fish was later confirmed by the Echo Fisheries Association to be the largest steelhead ever caught twice on that stretch of river. Mr. Mackelwhite received a small certificate and a beer.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Grindall. The historical St. Grindall was a leper who lived in the trash heaps outside the papal seat. The story goes that Saint Peter the Reformer denounced the corruption of the current regime, saying that the holiest man in the city was found “Not on the throne, but upon the dungheap.” He sought and found St. Grindall, who was a medic returned from the crusades. Grindall had been treating his fellow lepers, and refused to follow the saint on the grounds that his patients needed him, so the Reformer miraculously healed everyone involved. The Works of St. Grindall record that he then said “Happy, now?” in a somewhat cutting tone. Grindall said that he was, and followed.

In the garden, the low roses are blooming. These are a short, prostrate form and the flowers are a violent shade of pink, containing too much blue to be classically attractive. However, the bees enjoy them, and they produce plentiful rosehips later in the season.

The CharmX people have retreated to their van and are trying to figure out what to do about the strange stone slab in the path of their drill. They could probably either dynamite it out or drill through, but it is inadvisable to force one’s way through large slabs marked with warnings in ancient languages. Particularly if it is the septic tank.

As it happens, I know that they are warnings, not casual compliments, because I went out last night with a flashlight. They are in the unspeakable language of Ur. It is literally unspeakable because no one knows what sounds any of the symbols correspond to. We can read it relatively easily, however, thanks to the work of archaeological mediums. The slab is promising horrific soul-destroying torments on any who breach the seal, etc, etc. It is all very typical stuff. I am still dismayed by the irises.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Emmett, Emmett, & Herne Legal Offices. Summer reading season is nearly upon us. If you get lost in a book, contact our offices at once to learn your rights.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for May 25th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

  1. Script said 1906 while Rev. Mord said 1916. The steelhead was definitely caught in 1899, so we'll go with the script.

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