The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday June 17th, 2015
Episode 270
Previous episode: 2015-06-15
Next episode: 2015-06-19


Today we remember a near schism within the ranks of an ancient order. It is the Feast Day of St Manatee, and in the garden, there are beans.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is June 17th, 2015.

It was on this day in 2006 that the Ancient Order of Linguists nearly split over a linguistic divide. The young firebrands of the Order claimed that they must ride forth to destroy those who insisted on using the grammar of text messaging in long form communication. The older members insisted that the AOOL should instead study this new lexicon and document the grammatical rules of the speech. “All languages have rules,” said one elder. “We must punish those who break the rules, not those who are creating new ones.” It looked as if the issue could only be decided on the field of battle, when a third faction intervened, claiming that autocorrect could too easily tar the innocent as well as the guilty in this case. The matter was sent a committee, who promise to report back as soon as the language stops changing so dreadfully rapidly.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Manatee, patron of large, sad things. There are several saints assigned to look over the manatees, and they could probably use a few more. It is difficult to be so large and so sad and so vulnerable.

In the garden, the interns have actually managed to bring up the missing CharmX employee. His hair has gone stark white. Someone has tried to suggest that it was fear, but that is foolishness. Severe shock might well damage the follicles, causing hair to grow in white, but it will hardly change the pigment in existing hair. It is far more likely that he has been exposed to some extremely damaging element, either radioactive or mystical. The CharmX people are breaking out Geiger counters.

Also, he has gone quite mad and is screaming about the thing that watches from the depths and the three-lobed burning eye, but that was only to be expected. George the crow is NOT impressed with his ravings, and has been cawing derisively from his roost on the porch.

In any event, the bean crop is coming in nicely. We plant Mother Stallard, Eye of the Goat, and Rattlesnake Pole, all of which behave well in hot weather.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to by Stanford & Fish, publishers of fine periodicals and occasional prophecies. The future holds some excellent reading material!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for June 17th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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