The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday July 8th, 2015
Episode 279
Previous episode: 2015-07-06
Next episode: 2015-07-10


Today two faculty members from the Ravencoast School of Divinity attempt a daring rescue. It is the Feast Day of St. Culpepper, and in the garden, the should be pollinators.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is July 8th, 2015.

It was on this day, if the Madonna of Leaves is kind, that two professors of the Ravencoast School of Divinity rescued a handful of interns from an unspeakable evil beneath the earth.

PD: Can you record a bit that says they found great treasure on the way out of the caverns?

RM: …this is not prophecy, Drom. This is merely radio. It has no actual effect upon the future, except in the fashion that all documentation affects the future.

PD: Can you at least say they didn’t sustain any major injuries?

RM: (sigh) They rescued a handful of interns, with only minor nicks and scratches.

PD: Yay! Seriously, though, how are we gonna do this?

RM: We are going to enter the cavern. I shall cause a diversion, and you shall go and overpower the guard at the holding pen.

PD: He’s like seven feet tall, Mord. And he’s got three arms. The left one’s coming out of the top of his head and looks pretty dire.

RM: I have total faith.

PD: In me?

RM: In something.

PD: All right. So we assume I’ve incapacitated the guard, opened the holding pen, freed the interns, and…then what?

RM: Make for the tunnel opening directly opposite this one. The cultists do not like it. They keep looking at it as if they are expecting something unfortunate to come out.

PD: Do we have any shred of evidence that whatever is in there will like us any more than it likes them?

RM: None whatsoever.

PD: As long as we’re clear.

RM: It is the Feast Day of Saint Culpepper, patron of mail routes. He was bringing the word of a great victory to the Lobster Pope, when a hailstorm came up. Pummelled by hailstones, he nevertheless gasped out his message before expiring. He was canonized by the grateful Pope and is represented as an elderly man holding a letter, standing upon a lobster, while hail falls from above.

In the garden, I trust that Intern Steve is placing bird netting over the blueberries. Many of the coneflowers will have opened, and the pollinators will be numerous.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Silent Nightclub, who most certainly did not leave any business cards in the possession of the debased mime cult that we encountered while descending beneath the earth. Because that would be foolish.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for July 8th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

PD: So, hey, Mord, what are you doing to cause a distraction?

RM: I intend to feed myself to the blighted god.



Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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