The Hidden Almanac for
Monday July 13th, 2015
Episode 281
Previous episode: 2015-07-10
Next episode: 2015-07-15


Is today the 13th? I don’t now anymore. Mord is gone, the interns are not talking, and it is dark. I don’t even know what the Feast Day is, and have no clue what is happening up in the garden.

Be Safe, and Pray for Mord.


Hi, everbody, I’m Pastor Drom! Still.

Today is July…sometime in July…probably not August. 2015.

So I moved the interns into the tunnel, away from the blight god. They aren’t talking. They are blinking in what I think is Morse code, which would be awesome if I knew Morse code. I got one of them to write on the wall with a stick, but he just keeps writing “RUN” and “HE IS COMING” and stuff like that. Which is not helpful! We can’t leave yet! I can’t just leave Mord!

I mean, obviously he’s not dead, he’s a blight god, so technically there’s a lot more of him than there used to be, but it’s not quite the same. It’s gonna be really hard to get him to staff meetings.

So…I guess it was on this day in history that one professor from the Ravencoast School of Divinity sat in a small, out of the way tunnel and tried to figure out what to do next. Take the interns to safety? Risk everybody’s life waiting to see if Mord manages to get out?

This sucks. I am never gonna get my million dollars back.

I try to keep a positive attitude. I really do. The sun’ll come out tomorrow! Turn that frown upside down! But Mord’s gone and the interns are all panicking if you look at them, and you know what I really wish I had? A flamethrower.

This would all be much easier. I would be Miss goddamn sunshine if I had a flamethrower.

Anyway, I have no idea what Feast Day it is. He’d know. I bet it isn’t the saint of flamethrowers.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Pastor Drom’s I Wish I Had A Flamethrower Fund. Donate today!

Also there’s monsters in the tunnel. Like…uh…the giant ones with their mouths sort of vertical in the middle. Were those ghasts? Or are ghasts the ones with the zebra stripes?

RM: They are gugs.

PD: MORD! You’re alive! Are you a god? You have to tell me if you’re a god. Otherwise it’s entrapment.

RM: I do not believe that I am a god at this time.

PD: And…uh…no extra mouths?

RM: Not that you will ever see.

PD: …fair enough.

RM: That’s the Hidden Almanac for July 13th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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