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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday August 10th, 2015
Episode 293
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2015-08-07
Next episode: 2015-08-12

SummaryEdit

Today we recall the Parliamentary campaign of Elle Serena. It is also the day physics missed something important. It is the Feast Day of St. Quentin, and in the garden, there is tomfoolery.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is August 10th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1972 that the candidate Elle Serena ran for Parliament on the platform of standardizing women’s clothing sizes. She professed no other political leanings, and promised to devote her entire existence to making certain that a medium was always a medium and a large was always the same large.

She was elected by a landslide, crossing all party lines, and receiving the highest female voter turn-out ever recorded. Sadly, operatives from the fashion industry quietly assassinated her before she took office. Voters expressed their sorrow and, then, their total lack of surprise.

And it was on this day that a cloud of dragonflies, most likely Eastern Pondhawks, formed a ring and danced a pattern that corresponded exactly to the molecular structure of a heretofore unrecognized superheavy element. It is a shame that no one took pictures, as science would have been very interested.

It is the Feast Day of Saint Quentin, patron of anonymity. St. Quentin left gifts of food and money for the needy, signing the offerings only with the letter Q. At the same time, they were apparently stabbing evildoers and leaving the letter Q written in blood at the scene. The true identity of St. Quentin was never determined, and they were canonized anonymously and presumably posthumously, it having been some three hundred years since the stabbings. Doubts have been raised in modern times about celebrating the feast day of what was arguably a serial killer, and so the feast day of St. Quentin has been quietly dropped from most ecclesiastical calendars.

In the garden, George’s advocate from the Royal Ornithological Society has arrived. Apparently. I have not seen them, but they have shoved a note under the door. Thankfully, it was not signed with a Q. The note accuses us of providing an unnaturally altered environment for George, instructs that we stop feeding him Cheetos immediately, and requires that all human activity in the Test Garden retreat at least three hundred yards from George’s nighttime roost. As this would take us completely off the property, we will not be in compliance. I have switched to organic whole-grain Cheetos, however, because they may have a point about that.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Historical 8th Street Cheese-easy. Come relive the days of cheese prohibition! Taste the forbidden gouda! Fun for the whole family!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for August 10th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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