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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday August 19th, 2015
Episode 297
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2015-08-17
Next episode: 2015-08-21

SummaryEdit

Today we remember the impact a tree had on local law. It is the Feast Day of Feast Days, and in the garden, there continue to be beans.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is August 19th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1940 that a great black tree appeared in a session of the town council in the city of Morrington. It simply appeared in the center of the council chambers, roots sunk into the tile floor, with its trunk reaching the ceiling and seeming to vanish there. The trunk was black as if it had been charred and it had no leaves.

The assembled politicians looked at the tree. Many witnesses say that it felt as if the tree was looking back. There had been a motion on the floor to consider rezoning a stretch of land for development, over the protests of environmentalists who claimed that the land included an uncut section of primeval forest.

“Perhaps we don’t need another strip mall there after all,” said one of the politicians, and looked to the tree for approval. It said nothing. “Motion to rezone denied,” said another. The tree creaked. “I move that we declare that stretch of land protected by the city and perhaps create a new park,” said a third. The motion was carried and the tree went away, to the great relief of all assembled. The floor was never the same again.

It is the Feast Day of Feast Days. This recursive holiday is not listed on calendars, as it causes a meta-instability and then they catch fire. Hagiographers celebrate it among themselves by taking the day off.

In the garden, the hyacinth bean has flowered extravagantly and is putting out long red seedpods. These seeds are generally not eaten as they are very occasionally poisonous, so the bean is grown more often as an ornamental. It is lovely and vigorous, and in a good year, in good soil, can scramble over an arbor with great enthusiasm.

There was a note under the door today from George’s advocate, insisting that all such poisonous plants be removed from the garden so that George does not eat them. No. We will not be complying. Half the plants in any given garden are toxic or cause rashes or can kill you if you are the sort of trusting soul who makes tea out of anything they find lying around. George has never shown the least interest in making tea, which is a failing is an otherwise excellent crow.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Cannibalfly Priesthood. We got you an ant. The other person’s note was on top of our ant. We will unmake them after we are done with you. We do not forget.

…I am sorry that I missed the ant.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for August 19th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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