The Hidden Almanac for
Monday August 31st, 2015
Episode 302
Previous episode: 2015-08-28
Next episode: 2015-09-02


Today we abstractly mourn the loss of Doc Brightey, famed salesman. It is the Feast Day of The Dragonfly Swarm, and in the garden, George wants attention.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is August 31st, 2015.

It was on this day in 1832 that the faith healer and snake-oil salesman Doc Brightey was publically executed by an angry mob. He had been selling ear-drops that were supposed to cure deafness and revitalize the libido, but which actually caused massive keratinous growths in the ear canal. In short, his patients grew horns out of their ears. This did not make them happy, and also did not help with the deafness. As the horns generally did not start to grow for several weeks—by which time Doc Brightey had moved on to the next town—he racked up some three hundred victims. It is speculated that he could probably have talked his way out of it, as he had done with several previous snake-oil mishaps, except that the angry mob was full of people who could not hear very well owing to the horns, and so he was executed. One mourns the loss of any human life, of course, but in some cases, the mourning is more abstract than others.

It is the Feast Day of the Dragonfly Swarm. There are several swarm saints, comprised of insects acting together, but the Dragonfly Swarm is one of the better known. It is said that when Saint Perro crossed the wetlands to the southeast, mosquitoes descended upon her. The Dragonfly Swarm rose and protected her, traveling in a cloud around her until she was safely through the swamp. This saint is called upon to ward off mosquitoes and is represented as three haloed dragonflies or, more rarely, a man with a dragonfly head and wings, holding a cross.

In the garden, George the crow wants attention. A great deal of attention. He is making it difficult to work, in fact. He insists on perching on the back of my chair, making affectionate croaking noises, and when I go inside, he begin badgering the interns for head scratches. We would ask his ornithological advocate for help, but we do not actually have a way to communicate with this individual, who keeps stuffing letters under the door. I am certain that we will soon received a hostile note for petting him.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Cannibalfly Priesthood. We have not forgotten. We are lulling you into a false sense of security. Then we shall strike.

…Thank you for the explanation.

P.S. We have left you a bee.

…I am afraid that George may have eaten the bee.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for August 31st, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

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