The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday September 30th, 2015
Episode 315
Previous episode: 2015-09-28
Next episode: 2015-10-02


Today Pastor Drom checks in with a new plan to avoid her eventual martyrdom. In the garden, Fall is arriving.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is September 30th, 2015.

PD: Hi everybody! I’m Pastor Drom!

RM: Before you ask, I have not yet found who is going to martyr you. I have only just received this volume on the Shrike Cult from interlibrary loan.

PD: Whoa! That thing is huge. Hemlock could have used THAT to drop on the Librarian Prince’s head.

RM: Unlikely, as this was published twenty-six years after the assassination of the Librarian Prince.

PD: Aww, don’t think of it as assassination. Think of it as his library card being fatally revoked.

RM: They made that joke at the time, too, Drom.

PD: I’d be surprised if they didn’t. Anyway, why aren’t you reading? My future killers could be in there!

RM: I have been busy. There is a great deal to do in the garden in fall.

PD: Don’t you have interns for that? I could swear we spent a lot of time in an accursed pit getting you back those interns.

PD: And hey, whatever happened to that one intern with the wasps and the Hive Undying and all that?

RM: She moved to Echo Harbor to be closer to her hive.

PD: Well, it’s hard to juggle eldritch horror and family these days. Anyway, I’m thinking of turning the radio station into a bunker.

RM: …what.

PD: A bunker. You know, with the walls and the guns and the canned food. Which I will live in. Until you’ve sorted this whole martyrdom thing.

PD: It’s the most defensible location that I own, and best of all, we’ll be roommates!

RM: …on second thought, I believe the interns will be able to handle the fall gardening tasks. It is time for Intern Steve to assume more responsibility.

PD: I knew you'd say that.

RM: In the garden, we approach the harvest season. Fortunately, there are no crows chanting in the trees, only George. He is attempting to chant occasionally, but is easily distracted with Cheetos.

Unfortunately, we have received another note from his advocate telling us that George is living under unnatural conditions, and requesting that we rig speakers in the trees to speak the name of Corvus-Wrax so that he feels more comfortable.

PD: Like hell you will! It’ll work and I’ll get martyred!

RM: Indeed. Also, it might set back George’s emotional recovery.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Threepwood School of Swashbuckling. Classic swordplay! Classic swashes! Check us out online today!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for September 30th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

PD: The moving truck will be here tomorrow.

RM: (sigh)


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.