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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday November 11th, 2015
Episode 333
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Previous episode: 2015-11-09
Next episode: 2015-11-13

SummaryEdit

Today Lord Olmsbury of Hearthrung made a portentous journal entry. I is also the day of an important book review. It continues to be the Feast Day of St. Museline, and in the garden, there are sharks.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is November 11th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1544 that Lord Olmsbury, who owned a large hunting property near the village of Hearthrung, noted in his journal that he was looking forward to a quiet winter at home, now that the snow had started up and all that awful fighting in the Spice Wars had finally stopped. This entry is often held up as an example of historical irony, and volumes on the Spice Wars will occasionally have notes jotted in the margin that say things like “Poor bastard.”

And it was also on this day in 1544 that the first review of Mother Briar’s seminal work “Highland Home Remedies” is recorded. “It is an exhaustive work,” said the critic, known as Midwife Anne, “and the pictures are good, but she doesn’t know one end of a cow from the other. Fancy using hemlock as a purgative! It’ll purge you right off this earth if you aren’t careful!” Fortunately for Mother Briar and her many heirs, lawsuits were still in their infancy, and those injured by her home remedies were advised not to believe things simply because they were in books. “Anyone can write anything,” said the presiding judge, “and you can’t look them in the eye while they write it.”

It continues to be the Feast Day of Saint Museline, patron of small rodents. While many saints share feast days, the importance of Museline to agriculture is such that her observances eclipse most others. Museline is represented as both a woman carrying a mouse in her hand and a horde of rodents at her feet, or occasionally as a mouse-headed woman, depending on how comfortable the iconographer was with painting humans.

In the garden, one of the interns was cleaning out a birdhouse and found a nest shark. It is clearly a late migrant, as the weather has proved erratic. Nest sharks are annoying and more common in extremely damp years. The intern was wearing gloves and so suffered only bruises when bitten. Home gardeners are advised to take similar precautions. There are so many things that can lurk in birdhouses, and birds are perhaps the only one that does not sting, bite, kick or utter cutting insults.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Angry Young Rhinoceros. He is slightly older than the last time he bought ad space, but seems to still be angry. We are still not sure why he wishes to inform our listeners of this, but he does add that any young lady rhinoceri who are also angry and would perhaps like to be angry together can write him care of the station.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for November 11th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

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