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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday January 20th, 2016
Episode 363
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Previous episode: 2016-01-18
Next episode: 2016-01-22

Summary Edit

Today we remember a less than famous traveling exhibit. It is the Feast Day of Xu, and in the garden, it has turned cold.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

Transcription Edit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I'm Reverend Mord.

Today is January 20th, 2016.

It was on this day in 1979 that the traveling museum exhibit “Ziploc Bags Through The Ages” came to the town of Bricklayer’s Cross. It was a dismally unsuccessful exhibit, despite many fascinating examples of fasteners from the Early Bronze Age, but nevertheless had carried on, owing largely to the fanatical devotion of the curator, one Barnaby Wilkes. The exhibit was set up in the main square of Bricklayer’s Cross when a freak rain of fish broke out, and thousands of puzzled goldfish rained down from the heavens.

Rains of fish are not uncommon in that area, particularly in late winter, but this had a happier ending than usual for the fish, though not for Mr. Wilkes. Schoolchildren who had been forced to visit the exhibit grabbed the bags and began catching the goldfish and quantities of rainwater. Over two hundred goldfish were saved by quick-thinking third-graders. The exhibit was, of course, utterly ruined and Wilkes suffered a nervous breakdown in the town square.

Interestingly enough, many of those goldfish still survive, and at least one lives in a monastery koi pond and has been known to utter prophetic sestinas on Tuesdays.

It is the Feast Day of Xu, as the name of the saint is rendered in the ancient speech of the white ones who tug at the edges of reality. Xu saved our world from them once, the outside ones, but Xu is no longer here to protect us, and they have begun tugging again, in hopes of finding the last string that unravels all things.

In the garden, a hard freeze has landed. This is good for the gromwell and the prairie lilies, and other seeds which require cold stratification, but extremely hard on the birds. Thrushes and white-throated sparrows flock to the feeders and bird baths, and the interns are working double shifts to bring them warm water. In cold weather, water is more important than food. There will be dead wrens in the morning. We shall bury them with all due ceremony. They are poorly adapted to the weather, but it is not their fault.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Bob’s Discount Campaign for District Court Judge. At last, a candidate who is not beholden to any party, nor any god. Bob hungers…for justice.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 1st, 2016. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

Outro Edit

Out of character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Keven Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can find more by Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2016, Ursula Vernon.