| The Hidden Almanac for Friday January 6th, 2017 |
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| Episode 514 |
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| Previous episode: 2017-01-04 |
| Next episode: 2017-01-09 |
Summary[]
While Mord is on holiday, you get me, Pastor Drom! Today we’ll talk about a lost Elf Flamingo, who is cute. It is the Feast Day of Saint Burl, and I’m not touching that book!
Be Safe, and Have a Great Day!
Transcription[]
Hi everybody, I’m Pastor Drom! Welcome to the Hidden Almanac!
Today is January 6th, 2017.
You’ll all be happy to know that Mord has been thawed out and is on his way to Nork. (We weren’t gonna leave him frozen all that way. His beetles would get frostbite.) And while the interns were dumping room temperature water on him—remember, don’t use hot water! You don’t want to cause tissue damage! Or…beetle damage…they kept him entertained by reading aloud from a fine Scarlet Wombat Publishing book by me! So I’m sure he’s in a great mood now and ready to relax!
Okay, so time to do the show…let’s see…it was on this day…no, that one’s boring. No one cares about the geo-political situation in an antihill from the 1400s. Oh, here’s a good one! It was on this day in 1902 that an Elf Flamingo turned up in the northern highlands. Flamingos traditionally migrate south, but occasionally their internal compasses become confused. The Elf Flamingo is a shorebird not much larger than a thrush. They feed on minute crustaceans in the sand, few of which are found in the northern highlands in January. Local newspapers seized upon the plight of the Elf Flamingo, funds were raised, and it was put into a plane and flown south with great ceremony. An animated movie based on the flamingo’s adventure was made some decades later, to moderate acclaim.
It is the Feast Day of Saint Burl, patron of faked deaths. Huh, that’s different. Okay, it says he helped a bunch of people being persecuted to fake having been eaten by…uh, it says cows here. Do cows eat people? I don’t think cows eat people. Oh, okay, it might be a translation error. Anyway, if you need to fake your own death, you call upon St. Burl. Who may have been martyred but how can anyone be sure?
I’m supposed to read from the Echo Harbor Book of the Soil but Mord is super weird about me even touching it, and honestly, he’s already gonna kill me for having frozen him, so I’m not going to. Also, it kind of wiggles when you look at it. Like a bad wiggle, One of those heat-shimmer-on-the-road things. You don’t mess with books that do that.
The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Ice Company, purveyors of fine and frozen things. Red Wombat --- “We Chip Ice.”
Also brought to you by Scarlet Wombat Publishing’s Latest from Pastor Drom! Magical Sigils for Fun and Profit! Reserve your copy today!
That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 6th, 2017. Be safe and have a great day!