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Episode for 2017-02-13

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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday February 13th, 2017
Episode 530
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2017-02-10
Next episode: 2017-02-15

Summary Edit

Today Pastor Drom has returned, with a question, and some vague details about an incident. Be Safe, and Remember : You Are Not Alone.

Transcription Edit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is February 13th, 2017. 

D: Mord!

Hello, Drom…

D: Mord, I had a thought!

Miraculous. 

D: That was an insult, Mord. Don’t think I don’t know it! But you’re not gonna distract me that easy!

Very well. What is your thought, Drom?

D: You have sprouts, right? Err—actually, how are your sprouts? Are they still…um…sprouty?

They are not. They have returned to dormancy. 

D: Right. So about those sprouts. 

Yes?

D: Why you got sprouts, Mord? Normal people don’t have sprouts. 

It has been several weeks, Drom, and this question has only now occurred to you?

D: Well, I had a bunch of papers to grade. I’m still a professor, you know.

Any promising students?

D: If any of them graduate, I’ll know they’re miracle workers, because they’re sure not doing it on their merits. You’d think bibliographies were some kind of black magic. 

In my experience, one can hardly prevent students from engaging in black magic.

D: Yeah, lure of the forbidden and all that. I actually made that work for me, once! I told all the students that the secret to raising the dead was hidden in the required reading, but they had to read the entire thing very carefully or they’d miss it. By the end of the semester, they practically had the reading memorized.

Did any of them raise the dead afterward?

D: Nah, I’m not an idiot. The one I included only works on gerbils. The school made me stop after the incident, though.

The…incident.

D: Yeah, so there was a bar that the students liked to drink at, and it was next door to a taxidermist, and like, you wouldn’t think that taxidermists worked on gerbils, would you? They’re so tiny! Anyway, it was kind of a problem. But I won’t be distracted so easily, Mord! You have sprouts! Why do you have sprouts?

….there was an incident.

D: Did it involve taxidermy?

It did not. 

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Resistance Company, purveyors of fine and revolutionary teas. Red Wombat --- “Fight the Power.”

Also brought to you by Zahn’s House of Knots! We have square knots, half hitches, bow knots and grannys. If you need it knotted, come to Zahn’s! If you need it unknotted, consider going next door to Zack’s House of Scissors

That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 13th, 2017. Be safe and remember, you are not alone.===Outro=== Out of character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon and produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2017, Ursula Vernon. Woo!

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