The Hidden Almanac for Wednesday February 15th, 2017 |
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Episode 531 |
Previous episode: 2017-02-13 |
Next episode: 2017-02-17 |
Summary[]
Today Pastor Drom continues her incessant questioning, and learns that in the garden there rare beetles.
Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.
Transcription[]
Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.
Today is February 15th, 2017.
D: So about your plants, Mord….
Must we really discuss this?
D: Yes, we must! You’ve got sprouts! You—OH MY GOD! Mord!
Yes?
D: Are you plants under there? Are you just made of plants? Are you a bunch of plants in a suit?
I am not just plants in a suit.
D: That’s just what plants in a suit would say! And all this time, you’ve been lying to me, telling me that you weren’t beetles in a suit!
…I am NOT beetles in a suit, Drom. How was telling you that I am not beetles a lie?
D: Because you knew I’d think you were when you said you weren’t, so you lied to me by telling the truth. Just like a super sneaky liar would!
Or like someone who is telling the truth.
D: Do not confuse the issue with reality, Mord! Are you made of plants in there or not?!
I am not made of plants.
D: But you got plants in there.
There are some sprouts, yes.
D: And I know you got something going on with beetles. You sent a beetle to get me once!
(sigh) As an ongoing conservation effort, I do breed a particular rare scarab.
D: How rare?
So far as I am aware, they currently exist in the Hidden Almanac test garden and nowhere else on earth.
D: Whoa. Wait! That’s terrible! We gotta get them, like—protection!
They are protected here.
D: Yeah, but what if you get hit by a bus? Did you leave notes on how to feed them? Do the interns know what to do? We gotta save your beetles!
Drom, the last time you sought out environmental protections, we acquired that wretched member of the Royal Ornithological Society who keeps slipping notes under the door about George’s weight. I appreciate that your heart is in the right place, but the situation in the garden is under control. If I am hit by a bus, the beetles will be provided for.
The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Resistance Company, purveyors of fine and revolutionary teas. Red Wombat --- “Fight the Power.”
D: Is there anything else you’re hiding the garden that I should know about?
…No.
D: Okay, let’s try that again. Is there anything else you’re hiding in the garden that you don’t want me to know about?
(pause)
That’s the Hidden Almanac for February 15th, 2017. Be safe and remember, you are not alone.
Outro[]
Out of character
The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon and produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2017, Ursula Vernon. Woo!