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  • Holding their annual waffle breakfast next Thursday, at the Sacred Lodge. Come out and have some good waffles in a great cause! All proceeds go to the family of Brother Jeff, who was lost in a book six weeks ago and has now been given up for dead. (Episode 37)
  • It’s almost time for the New Year’s Moose Hunt! All proceeds go to charity. Bring your nets and your running shoes — this year Eddie Krantz drew the short straw and you know he’s a fast one! (Episode 46)
  • Do you have any salt? We’ve run short. Donations can be dropped off at the S.O.B.M.M headquarters on High Street. We require about 800 pounds this stuff immediately for reasons that are not the business of anyone below the level of Elk Boss. (Episode 81)
  • We’d like to thank everyone who came out for the Longest Day of the Year, and extend our condolences to the family of Stuart Brogan, who drew the short straw. His death will carry our prayers to the ancient and shaggy gods, but he’ll live forever in our hearts. (Episode 122)
  • The New Year’s Moose Hunt is approaching! The sacred straws will be going around, and our condolences to the family of he who draws the short straw. It’s all for charity! (Episode 192 )
  • You’ve probably heard by now that a judge has brought a temporary injunction against the annual running of the bull moose men, on the grounds that human sacrifice is illegal! Don’t worry, though, our lawyers are on it, and we fully expect a resolution before the actual run. (Episode 198)
  • We’ve been granted an injunction against the injunction, and the running of the Bull Moose Men will take place as scheduled! Word has it that Abe Beck drew the short straw. He’s not as fast as some of the Moose Men, but he’s a wily one, so bring your running shoes! (Episode 200)
  • Congratulations all on another well run race! Our condolences to the family of Jeremy Sutter. He gave us a good run. (Episode 205)
  • The spring equinox is over, so it is time to begin training for the harvest festival. You can never get those calves stretched out too soon. Come on by the lodge for our couch-to-running-for-your-life training program. (Episode 240)
  • Now selling Bull Moose Pajamas to raise money to pay for the lawsuit after the last Running of the Bull Moose Men. Some people just don’t get into the spirit of the thing. But our bills are your gain! You can order your own Bull Moose PJ’s today! (Episode 249)
  • Nobody goes in the basement without knowing what they’re getting into! We are 100% up front about risks! Why not swing by your local lodge and pick up a pamphlet today? (Episode 257)
  • sponsoring a Couch-to-5K training program. The annual Running of the Bull Moose Men is only a few months away, and we know how hard it can be to get back into shape. Whether you’re the hunters or the hunted, come on out for a refresher course! (Episode 321)
  • Come on out for our Meet ‘n Greet! It’s nearly time for the running of the Bull Moose Men, and you’ll want to meet the people who will be running with you—or after you! (Episode 332)
  • It's nearly time for the fun run! Come out to cheer on the runners. Remember, after we've caught the runner it's pancake time! (Episode 349)
  • Wow! That was quite a fun run, wasn’t it? He nearly got away! Come on out for the pancake dinner—it’s all for charity and to celebrate the noble sacrifice of our fun-run victim. (Episode 354)
  • It’s nearly time for the spring pancake dinner! Buy a ticket and get unlimited pancakes and all the syrup you can stand. Remember, it’s all for charity! (Episode 382)
  • It’s almost time for the running of the Bull Moose Men! Who will draw the short straw at the pancake dinner? Let’s all find out together! (Episode 492)
  • It’s nearly time for the annual fun run! This year, William Witzel drew the short straw, and he’s eighty-seven, so we’re looking forward to a leisurely outing—but Old Willy may have a few surprises up his sleeve, so don’t forget to bring your running shoes! (Episode 500)
  • Thank you to everyone who came out for our fun run! Wow! Our chosen sacrifice sure was a tricky one, wasn’t he? Just goes to show that you never can tell. Big thanks to Mabel for disarming that nasty trap outside the lodge. Bobby Matthews is still in the hospital after taking that rain gutter to the head, but his wife says he’s looking to make a full recovery, and thanks everyone for the get-well cards. And big thanks to the family of the sacrifice for being such good sports. Let’s all have a fabulous new year! (Episode 507)
  • Has anybody seen Young William’s retainer? He took it out during the feast following the Fun Run and his mother is extremely cross. (Episode 529)

Notes Edit

References Edit

Witnessed the last credible sighting of the Black Beast on the 6th December 1804.

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