October 24 is the Feast Day of Saint Lucas, patron of goldsmiths, who was martyred by being shoved headfirst into a vat of molten gold. At least it probably quick. This very expensive form of martyring has been carried out a few times in the history of hagiography, in this case by a particularly wealthy emperor. The emperor kept the resulting statue—if you can call it that—in the palace gardens. Some detractors have suggested that St. Lucas was in fact shoved into a vat of molten copper, and the results were then carefully gold-leafed. In any event, upon the emperor’s death, the statue was removed because everyone agreed that it was rather sad and creepy and quite lumpy. It was given a decent burial.
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