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November 1 is the Feast Day of Saint Roachius, patron of scurrying vermin. The original Saint Roachius claimed that all living beings contained a spark of the divine and that a lowly cockroach had as much claim to grace as the Pope. This did not endear him to his superiors, and he was sentenced to “rot in a cell with his spiritual contemporaries.”

His worship was quietly reinstated some years later by city workers, who believe that sacrificing half a sandwich at a shrine of Saint Roachius keeps vermin away from your ankles and lunch box.

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